It has been said that the actual divorce rate is much higher than what is believed- As high as 70 percent. Whether this is accurate or not, the rate of divorce has resonance and speaks volumes for our society and where we have placed our values.
Aside from any judgements or predetermined notions about people who are separated or divorced, dating through this trying time can be challenging, confusing and stressful and there is no doubt that dating through divorce and separation is more difficult and different than not.
There are a host of complications and concerns that can often accompany separation and divorce, such as separation anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, trust issues, financial and legal concerns, child custody and living conditions. There are also emotional issues, such as guilt, fear, insecurity and oftentimes, mental and substance issues that can arise as a result of the extreme trauma that often accompany divorce and separation.
These can make it very difficult to reenter the dating world and to maintain or reestablish healthy, new relationships and bonds.
While it’s not recommended to complicate things by dating when you’re not ready, sometimes it’s hard to know. Oftentimes it’s a ‘test and trial’ experience. If dating, or the thought of dating again feels uncomfortable, you may want to seek counsel.
If you do choose to date and finally feel it’s time to let go of the past and you feel you’re ready to move forward, do it with confidence and patience.
There are a lot of people out there and there is no reason to rush into permanent relationships (rebounds) or any permanent arrangement too quickly.
For example; it’s very common for someone newly divorced or separated to seek someone just like or similar to their ex-spouse or even totally opposite, which can spell trouble if you move too fast. It’s possible that, if you choose someone similar to your ex, that you may be entering into the same or similar pitfalls that you experienced previously with your former relationship(s).
If you choose someone totally opposite, you may, for example, be drifting too far from your internal value system.
It’s recommended to take time to evaluate how you feel and gain perspective on your past, before rushing into the future, but at the same time, when you do decide you’re ready to move forward, do so with confidence, prudence, good judgment and with an open heart and mind. There are people who spend their entire lives feeling sorry for themselves or living in fear and feeling anger towards their ex-spouses and never find their way back to happiness.
Remember, divorce can represent a new beginning and a chance for renewed happiness.
Yes, there are elements of sadness but you are not alone.
Our approach is different and particularly valuable to our divorced and separated members, in that we are oriented towards a well-balanced, diverse, comprehensive and holistic approach, which addresses the entire and complete person inside and out. We want to help you to develop relationship skills, perspectives and relationships that last. It all starts with how you feel about yourself and this begins with honesty and courage.
We believe our fundamental approach to dating, which involves personality and “relational awareness” prompts and nurtures the foundation for strong, lasting relationships and the skills to maintain them through life’s tests and trials. Learning to grasp and master these aspects can be particularly useful and comforting to newly separated and divorced individuals, as they reenter the dating scene while dealing with the unique emotions and fears that can be associated with separation and divorce.
For some, the purpose of this site will be to move forward and to be paired with likely matches, for others it may be to scroll through pictures and profiles at their leisure to find others with similar interests, moving at varied paces, in their own time, while enjoying our many features and functions. Whichever you choose, we want your experience to be satisfying and enjoyable.
We hope that you will take the time to take full advantage of and acquaint yourself with the forums, tools and services we provide. We wish for you, a life “in love”- for what is life, without love?
Thanks for choosing SLAMMMM.COM
Slammmm.com, its owners, operators and/or affiliates are not responsible for any actions, thoughts, consequences or otherwise for any consideration or application of any of the above comments, ideas, words, thoughts or anything that can or may be construed as advice, but not limited to such and recommend seeking professional counsel for any and all issues, problems or otherwise pertaining to relationship questions, problems or otherwise, but not limited to such.