The word Relationship has its origin in the root word ‘relate.’ The manner in which people relate is referred to as their “relationship”. As basic as this explanation may be, it is fundamental and essential in both the existence and survival of humanity. If there is “No relating” or communication, then there is no “relationship.” Likewise if there is diminished communication or relating, the relationship will be equally diminished.
Because society has become so complex and self-centered, we have over-developed our focus on our own needs and desires leaving the needs and feelings of others to be an “afterthought”. The introduction of texting, computers and social medias as acceptable forms of communication have further diminished our ability to face problems and conversations face to face and with any form of urgency or priority leaving people confused , insecure, lonely , neglected and unfulfilled. This unfortunately becomes a vicious cycle which is further fed and worsened by continual reinforcement from the entertainment industry, the media and the constant bombardment from advertisements, TV shows and movies glorifying the need to compete for physical beauty, fashion, power and attention.
It’s confusing and frustrating enough to have to deal with the pressures of modern day society but it’s made more intense and frustrating by the diminished ability to communicate feelings, thoughts and ideas due to inaccurate and inept modes of communication and the lack of time to correct it. There is such a multitude of diversions to take us away from focusing in on what is really important in life that we have lost our way and part of our humanity. Our relationships suffer as a result and thus our happiness.
This trend has diminished and devalued the importance of traditional roles such as motherhood and fatherhood and has all but ignored the importance of being respectful, nurturing, loving and caring. The focus seems to be on the individual rather than being a “partnership” or part of a family unit or “team.” This results in the over-development of our egos and feeds our insecurities causing an even greater need to be understood and loved but due to the breakdown of the family unit and the degradation of communication, understanding, sympathy, empathy and self-sacrifice, people are far less willing to serve each other selflessly and put their own needs secondary to others as well as their own family members, thus, the cycle keeps feeding itself.
For these reasons, it is easy to understand why the divorce rate is so high and why suicide, substance abuse, alcoholism and the wide-spread use of anti-depressants are so prevalent.
To break it all down to the lowest common principle, it all boils down to how we feel about ourselves. You cannot love others effectively if you don’t love yourself likewise. There are a variety of reasons why people are not happy and a variety of ways in which people cope to compensate for their unhappiness. The way to true happiness and love is to work continually to have a better understanding of who we are as well as to improve our character. This builds self-respect and confidence allowing us to feel worthy of healthy, rewarding and satisfying relationships in love, family and friendships.
One of the keys to forming strong bonds and solid relationships in love as well as in life is to work together with others in improving ourselves as a joint effort. This builds trust, respect and a sense of accomplishment, connection, security and feeling “safe” with that person and others. This is a form of intimacy which is just as, if not more important than physical intimacy. This also tends to promote a feeling that the other person cares and listens to our needs as well as responds to us- this is the essence of communication and caring. These characteristics build solid foundations and correct what society has destroyed.
Remember, finding a relationship is only the beginning. A healthy love relationship requires attraction but in order to keep it strong, it also requires constant growth, attention, communication and even sacrifice.
…….As with anything good and worthwhile in life- if it’s worth it, then it’s worth the price and worth fighting for.
We offer Relationship Coaching as resource for our members. This service is meant to offer support for your personal growth as well as for the growth and development of your relationships.
Feel free to log on and read our relationship coaching section. You can also read or blog about various relational issues and what other members have to say or you can post your own views and opinions. We offer coaching advice from relationship coaches on staff. You can utilize these services through our PLATINUM MEMBERSHIP PLAN by utilizing our email for advice. (Please read the PLATINUM MEMBERSHIP PLAN for details and specifics)