Dating Through Divorce and Separation

It has been suggested that the actual divorce rate is much higher than what is believed- As high as 70 percent. Whether this is accurate or not, the rate of divorce has resonance and speaks volumes for our society and where we have placed our values in the modern era.

Aside from any judgments or predetermined notions about people who are separated or divorced, dating through this trying time can be challenging, confusing and stressful and there is no doubt that dating through divorce and separation is different than not.

There are a host of complications and concerns that accompany divorce such as separation anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, trust issues, financial and legal concerns, child custody and living conditions. There also emotional issues such as guilt, fear, insecurity and often times mental and substance issues that can arise as a result of the extreme trauma that often accompany divorce and separation.  These can make it very difficult to reenter the dating world and to maintain or establish healthy, new relationships and bonds.

While it’s not recommended to complicate things by dating when you’re not ready, sometimes it’s hard to know. Often times it’s a ‘test and trial’ experience.  If dating or the thought of dating again feels uncomfortable, you may want to seek counsel.

If you do choose to date and finally feel it’s time to let go of the past and you feel you’re ready to move forward, we suggest you do so with confidence and patience.  There are a lot of people out there and there is no reason to rush into permanent relationships (“rebounds” ) too quickly .For example,  It’s very common for someone newly divorced or separated to seek someone just like their ex- spouse or someone totally opposite which can both spell trouble if you move too fast. It’s possible that if you choose someone very similar to your ex, you may be repeating similar pitfalls, if you choose someone vastly opposite; you may be drifting too far from your own value system.

It’s recommended to take some time to evaluate how you feel and gain perspective on your past before rushing into the future, but at the same time, when you do decide you’re ready to let go and move on, do so with confidence and good judgment.  There are people who spend their entire lives feeling sorry for themselves or living in fear and anger towards ex-spouses and never find their way back to happiness.

While going through divorce can be stressful, it can also be liberating and can help you to gain valuable insight and perspective towards yourself, life and others. Try to think of it as an opportunity to have better relationships in the future, enable you to make better relationship decisions and to develop better relationship skills

Remember, divorce can represent a new beginning and a chance for renewed happiness.  Yes, there are elements of sadness but you are NOT ALONE.

Our approach is different and particularly valuable to our divorced and separated members in that we are oriented towards a well balanced, diverse, comprehensive and holistic approach which addresses the entire and complete person inside and out. We want to help you develop relationship skills, perspectives and relationships that last a lifetime. It all starts with how you feel about yourself and that starts with honesty and courage. We believe our fundamental approach to dating which involves personality and relational awareness prompts and nurtures the foundation for strong, lasting relationships and the skills to maintain them. Learning to grasp and master these aspects can be particularly useful and comforting to newly separated and divorced individuals as they reenter the dating scene while dealing with the unique emotions and fears that can be associated with separation and divorce.

For some, the purpose of this site will be to move forward and be paired with likely matches, for others it will be to scroll through pictures and profiles at their leisure to find their own matches in their own time.  Whichever you choose, we want your experience to be satisfying and enjoyable. We hope that you will take full advantage of the tools, forums and services that we provide.  We wish for you a life”in love” – for what is life without love?

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